Is Your Memory For Names Making You Miss Opportunities?
Posted on 26. Oct, 2009 by Matt Shelly in Job Search Tips
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By Todd Bavol, The Job Search Ninja.
CEO, Integrity Career Transitions
You’ve studied all the rules and protocols of networking, you’ve worked out a cracking elevator pitch and you stride off confidently to your first networking event only to find that within seconds of being introduced to a new contact you have forgotten his name. Even in social situations, a poor memory for names can be highly embarrassing, but in networking it can mean the loss of big opportunities. It’s a rare person who will approach somebody for a second time having completely forgotten what they are called.
Remembering and using the name of somebody you have only recently met makes a big impact. Think of the times when you have only been introduced to somebody once and they get your name right weeks or even months later. It gives you a nice warm glow to know that you made such a significant impression and shows a great deal of personal respect. In a business situation, the ability to make others feel that way can be crucial in developing relationships, so what can you do if your memory for names continually lets you down?
Say it out loud
Repeating somebody’s name as soon as you are introduced and throughout the conversation helps greatly in committing it to memory. A simple handshake and ‘Nice to meet you Bill’ is all it takes. Hearing (as opposed to listening to) somebody’s name is passive and does not necessarily allow us to retain the information, but speaking, because it is done actively and requires effort, makes a greater impression in our minds.
Listen
Often when we meet somebody new we are so tied up with worrying about what we are going to say and what kind of impression we are making that we become distracted and fail to listen attentively. You know when you meet somebody new that their name is one of the first things you are going to hear, so tune in to them and put your thoughts about yourself to the back of your mind.
Ask
We’ve probably all been in the situation where we didn’t hear a name clearly at the outset and then find it too embarrassing much later on to ask again. If you don’t hear it, say so straight away. ‘Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that’ is all you need to say for it to be repeated. If it happens to be an unusual, unfamiliar or complicated name, don’t be afraid to ask how it is spelt or its origin. Names are very personal and most people will be more than happy to explain the derivation of theirs, as well as feeling flattered and valued by the interest that you have shown.
Associate
Especially when we are meeting a number of people within a short space of time, associating the right name with the right face can often be a challenge. Study each person’s face discreetly as you are introduced, identify a distinguishing feature and exaggerate it in your mind’s eye to make the connection more memorable. Alternatively, make an association using a rhyme or by linking the individual to somebody else you know of the same name. If the speed of the introductions is simply too fast for you to employ one of these tactics immediately, then ask the person doing the introductions to repeat the names to you discreetly and then say each one to yourself as you study each face. As each person speaks during the conversation, say his or her name in your head to help it stick.
As in many things practice makes perfect when it comes to remembering names, but don’t ever underestimate their importance. Also, don’t let your attitude get in the way of improving your memory. If you simply let yourself off the hook with the attitude that remembering names is something that you are not very good at, you will never find the motivation to improve.
For information about career products and services, visit www.integritycareertransitions.com. You can also follow The Job Search Ninja on twitter at, www.twitter.com/jobsearchninja, for great career advice.
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